100% Cotton

July 8, 2007

Today is our second wedding anniversary. Wikipedia tells me that

Married persons who regard the day of their marriage as important may mark the occasion in some special way.

G and I have no special plans, although we will probably go out to eat. I hope this lack of planning does not make us bad “married persons.”

From Wikipedia I have also learned that the traditional gift on a second anniversary is cotton. If I were the proper sort of married person I suppose I would have gotten us some new flannel sheets (not that G would see the romance in this, especially since it is July), or perhaps some matching cotton pajamas? Hmm. Cotton doesn’t strike me as a particularly sexy gift possibility.

Last year’s tradition, though, was paper–even less sexy, what with all the sharp edges. At least we followed instructions to some degree by exchanging cards. This year, I don’t know. Of course, some part of me wishes we were the kind of people who would have elaborate anniversary plans already made, who when sitting and cooing to each other over the dessert course at the fancy restaurant that requires a jacket and advance reservations, would murmur, “Darling, I have a little something for you,” and produce an exquisitely wrapped box from beneath the table. Instead we will probably go to Houston’s and have a variation on the dinner we have whenever we go to Houston’s to celebrate something, which is fairly often. This would actually make me pretty happy. Houston’s makes a damn good steak.

I wonder what the absorbent tip of a home pregnancy test is made of? Cotton seems unlikely, but another fantasy of mine would be to pee on a stick this morning and present the double line to G as an anniversary “gift” when he woke up. Just ignore the hygienic concerns that this raises and visualize the glamour. Two years to the day after we say “I do,” we get the news that we’re expecting, via a cotton-tipped HPT. We laugh, we cry, we embrace and turn to face the bright future, arms entwined, eyes teary and aglow.

Yeah, I was thinking about how totally cool that would be as I peed away my FMU (first morning urine–I told you there were a lot of acronyms) this morning at 5am, too scared to take another pg test even though I’m not yet bleeding. The box of two First Response tests that I picked up at the drugstore yesterday is sitting in the medicine cabinet right now, waiting for the crackling cellophane wrapping to be removed, the little cardboard box to be broken open, the hermetic seal on each individual test to be breached.

Waiting in vain, because I can’t bear the crushing disappointment of another negative today. The possibility that it could be positive has occurred to me, yes, but the awful risk of a negative outweighs my hope for a positive right now. I’d rather just wait and see if Aunt Flo shows up. If I don’t start spotting by this evening Flo can probably be considered “late,” at least nominally. I haven’t had a single cycle longer than 28 days in the past ten months.

Anyway, tomorrow morning will be a full 72 hours since the last test (well, more like 63 hours, but close enough), long enough for whatever hCG that might be in there to have doubled–that is, if there is a viable little bundle of cells in my uterus at all, and if my period has not arrived by tomorrow morning. So maybe I’ll be brave enough to test again when I wake up tomorrow. That would be a pretty nice belated anniversary gift, I have to say.

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One Response to “100% Cotton”

  1. SKB Says:

    Haha! Good thing you had Wikipedia to tell you what to do!

    I got the mister a Pink shirt for our second anniversary. The mister’s suggestion for a non-romantic cotton gift: a framed portrait of Cotton Mather.

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