Busy, busy, busy.

August 27, 2007

Yet again I am slow to update, but this time I have a moderately good excuse–today was the first day of classes, so over the weekend I was busy preparing for the semester. You know, by purchasing various important supplies. I wore that second pair to teach in today, and actually survived fairly well for the full six hours I was on campus–but I was very glad to put my sneakers back on for the commute home!

Happily, my students are adorable. No obvious troublemakers or crazies (I’ve had both in the past, and once, both in one class), and they are such a diverse and fascinating bunch! I hope this semester continues to go well.

Meanwhile, this past weekend we also attended a baby shower–and we have another one coming up in a couple of weeks. Contrary to expectation, I loved seeing our two pregnant friends, and even indulged in some energetic fantasizing about when it’s “my turn.” It helps that we didn’t get any intrusive questions about our reproductive status. For once! That was a relief. And once again our friends’ gorgeous almost-three year old daughter took my breath away with how perfectly sweet, bright, healthy and well-adjusted she is. I really hope when we become parents we can raise a child so well.

Interestingly enough, while there I overheard a related conversation among some other party guests, none of whom I know personally. The woman speaking was saying to a couple of other, much older women, “My hubby and I don’t have any children yet–but we do eventually want a couple.” The other women assured her, “Oh, you have time–” and she replied, “I know, but if you can believe it I’ll be 40 this year!” To which at least one person said, “Well, you’re still young.” She sounded relieved–“That *is* still young, right? I’m glad to hear you say that!” Everyone in this conversation was a black woman.

Of course, as I eavesdropped, I couldn’t help but think to myself, “Well, 40’s not THAT young.” But in keeping with my new attempts at more positive thinking, I immediately squashed that thought, and replaced it with, “I really hope she has absolutely NO trouble conceiving.” And honestly, I do. Still, I am very surprised when I hear these kinds of conversations–my mom recently told me about an acquaintance of hers whose 42-year old daughter still talks about their plans to have kids “in the future,” much to her mother’s chagrin. Of course, I don’t know if such seemingly naive women are only talking this way to deflect unwanted attention to their fertility–maybe they’ve been trying for years and just don’t want to tell the world about it.

If such talk is not a clever ruse, though, then I can’t help but worry for folks like the woman I overheard at the party. She could really be in for an unpleasant surprise. But as I said–I hope she’s yet another miraculous black fertility success story. For that matter, I hope *I* am, too.

A propos of that–no sign of Aunt Flo yet, although today’s only CD24. No particularly promising symptoms, except some throbbing pains in my left breast the other night, and similar but less intense pains tonight. I was also woken up out of sleep by a desperate need to pee last night at about 3am–something that almost never happens to me, and I’m in the habit of drinking a tall glass of water each night before going to bed. I have a bladder of steel, I tell you! Not last night, though.

Still, all that seems pretty dubious. And again, only CD24, and depending on when I ovulated, only 7 or 10DPO. As you may recall, though, this time last cycle I was already cramping, and my period started on the equivalent of CD26. So it looks like this month my cycle just might stretch a bit longer than last. But I’ve been eating better and exercising regularly–in years past, I have managed to forestall my period’s arrival slightly with regular exercise. So I might just have fitnessed myself into a longer cycle, meaning I could start bleeding by the end of the week.

One surefire way to know whether we’re headed for pregnancy or period this go-round is to start taking my temperature again, but, well, I guess I just don’t want to know. I’ve been enjoying the fantasy that I might have magically gotten knocked up this month, so I’m going to keep it up until I have incontrovertible evidence to the contrary.

Delusional? Maybe. But I’m comfortable with that.


3 Responses to “Busy, busy, busy.”

  1. MN Says:

    Not delusional and highly possible!! I’m hoping for you!

    Yes, it is a shame when I hear black women (including my physician friends) claim that they have so much time. . .AT 40+! I am only 37 and time may have just run out. Of course, for every one of me I know, I do know someone who is older and had little to know trouble conceiving. Maybe I am the freak and they are normal. It’s all in God’s hands.

  2. Statistics have shown that women are waiting longer to have children these days. I think this is crazy and that a lot of women don’t fully understand the reprecussions of waiting.

    Wishing you the best on this cycle.

  3. cityprof Says:

    I think you’re both right–a lot of women just don’t understand the possible repercussions of waiting until late 30s or early 40s, but there are so many who don’t end up having trouble at all. I think you just can’t know until you start trying which category you’ll be in, unfortunately. I figured we’d have no trouble since I was 31 when we started, but we see how that turned out!

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